Depressive spill

Torn between worlds,
One of my dreams,
One of Society's.

Walking tightrope,
Fear and Despair.

Unable to repair.
My own incompetence.

Maturity comes with age,
Childish refusal,
Fear loss of time.

I walk on blind,
Of what to do.

Despite knowing,
What the people want.

Can't I be alone,
Travel the virtual,
Immersion means more.

Can't enjoy reality,
Too much work for me.

Family and friends,
Better suited for it.

Can't deny the practical,
But I love the Theoretical,
What's wrong with that?

Can't I dream of better lives?
Tripping on so many knives.

Work takes that away,
Why bother doing it?

Did everything else right,
But one wrong move,
the good ceases to matter.

Doomed to fail at task,
One way or another.

Half-hearted at best,
Why even bother?

Lost cause on the run,
From traditional values.
Games matter more to me.

I will never improve,
So why bother seeking?

Cease to disturb,
And you'll get it done better.

People like you,
Bring sunny weather.
While I bring nothing but rain.